Weaning, continued.

Here we are… almost one month after that day. 

Mama is still sad, but G is a happy and healthy girl. 

Weaning was much easier for her than I anticipated.  Since she was already using a cup, she’s been drinking more rice milk, and mama has adjusted her foods, vitamins and supplements a bit to make up for not getting the sweet mama-milk. She started sleeping in longer stretches and has actually slept through the night a few times. WHOA! 

She only got upset once when I said no more nursies, and it was only for a short minute. A few days later, out of curiosity, I offered her nursing, and she was excited, and began to move as if she was going to, but stopped short and didn’t latch on. It was as if she didn’t remember what to do!

This is been kind of hard on me. The emotional part of it has been sad. I felt like this was OUR THING and it was what bonded us most. I miss it. The quiet time just her nuzzling in to nurse. I feel guilt for not going to the full 2 year mark too.

I actually had a pretty steep hormone drop after the weaning. I got what was identical to Post-Partum Depression symptoms, and after a week has passed and things were not getting better, only worse, a very good (and my lifesaver) friend made a call to get me in to see and OB right away. Long story short a number of issues caused my hormone and serotonin levels to get all out of whack, so I’m on the road to recovery with many different methods and uses now.

As I approach this one-month milestone, I am happy and sad. Happy I finally caught a window of opp with this one… I missed every other one that we have ever had for anything with G. I’m sad that I may not ever breast feed or nurse a baby ever again, but I’ll grieve and eventually move on.

Review for Albolene

I had the opportunity to try out a product that could help with Eczema – check this out!

She weaned….

I have always known this time would come. I just didn’t know that when I nursed my 21 month old on that Saturday morning, it would be the last time.

I have been struggling with the choice to wean lately. G tends to nurse ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Our usual routine would be: Get ready for bed, get in her bed with mama (8 pm), mama nurses her to sleep (the uses the “Pantley-Pull-Off“), mama quietly exits room, mama does ___ for the next 2 hours, then G wakes (crying) and comes into mama’s bed and nurses again, falls asleep with mama, and then does the wake, nurse, sleep routine every 2 hours until she wakes at 7 am. This left a very very tired mama who desperately needed alone sleep time. It has been like this since about January. Before, she just co-slept with us.

So, when I began the process of night weaning, it was a step in the right direction for me to get sleep again. However, night # 2, when the assistance of Dada was needed to go to her room and soothe her, dada gave up. He was tired, and wasn’t feeling it. So, we stopped. Mama can’t night wean without Dada.

Saturday morning (May 30th, 2009, 9 am) arrives, and I nurse my sweet milk-loving 21 month old in bed, brushing her hair with my fingers, smiling down at my happy not-so-little nursling. Had I known this would be the last time ever that she would nurse, perhaps it would have been different. I’ll never know.

I was on my way to Seattle for the weekend, alone. This would be only the second time ever that G and I were separated at night. I had a full weekend ahead, and was VERY much looking forward to sleeping in the giant king-size bed alone. Uninterrupted. I told Dada this had to be done. He would have to soothe and calm her, remind her she’s a big girl and could do this. Love her. Cuddle her.

I return on Sunday night to find G sleeping in her bed, alone. I thought, okay… here is the test. She woke many times that night, but Dada went in to soothe her. He slept in there with her most of the night.

Morning arrives, and we made it. She came into our room at 9 am with lots of hugs and love. She started to pull at my shirt, asking to nurse. I said “No more nursies, you’re a big girl now… All done”. I expected tears and a meltdown like previous times I tried to deny nursies. Not this time. She said “No more nursies”, and hugged me again.

…

That’s it? Really? Just like that? I didn’t expect it to last.

She asked to nurse again 2 more times that day and I said the same thing each time, and she said the same thing each time too.

Here we are, almost one week later. She has not nursed. Not even once.

—-

To be continued.

Blog Makeover?

I’m searching for the perfect blog theme. I want to have the brown and pink that are associated with Instinct Parenting, but want the extras and widgets…

So, this is a rough draft… leave a comment and let me know what you think (or what you think I should do!)

Thanks.

Need a sitter? Check out Sitter Soiree!

Just the Mamas…

Just the Papas…

Just the Sitters…

With a little help pulling it all together from Sitter Soiree.

Do you have your summer babysitter lined up yet?

Let us introduce you to a pool of brilliant, educated and experienced babysitters while noshing on goodies and shopping for irresistible goods. You’ll have a chance to meet, greet and connect with a wonderful pool of babysitting candidates selected by Sitter Soiree in a fun, comfortable setting. You’ll also have the chance to shop for goods from local businesses in a fun, no pressure atmosphere.

You’ll leave the Soiree with an exclusive “Sitter Book” complete with a bio, contact information and photo of each sitter. When the time comes to hire a sitter you contact the sitter directly, you conduct interviews and check references, you set the schedule and you choose the right sitter for you.

The cost to attend the Soiree is $45.00.

boldNEXT EVENT:
Saturday, May 30th
Purple Moon Child Development
3211 NE Broadway
10:30-12:00

Space is limited…register today at www.sittersoiree.org

http://www.purplemoonkids.com

Purple Moon is a community based, eco-healthy preschool located in NE Portland offering full-day Infant/Toddler, Preschool and Pre-K programs.

Sesame Street Live: Elmo’s Green Thumb – Family and Friends Discount!

Click Here For Postcard and Discount

ELMO’S GREEN THUMB

Sunny isn’t just the weather forecast on Sesame Street – it’s also the name of Elmo’s sunflower friend! Join all your favorite friends on an amazing adventure as they help Elmo find a new home for Sunny in the all new Sesame Street Live stage show, “Elmo’s Green Thumb”

Elmo has raised his sunflower, Sunny, from a seed, but his floral friend has outgrown the flower pot. Elmo and friends find Big Bird’s garden the ideal place for Sunny to flourish and grow but they are too excited to wait. Rather than let Sunny follow nature’s course, Abby Cadabby, Sesame Street’s fairy-in-training, casts a spell to make Sunny grow. The spell does just the opposite and, instead of growing, Elmo and all of his friends shrink! While Abby searches for just the right words to reverse the spell, Elmo, Zoe,Telly and friends explore Big Bird’s garden from a smaller perspective and learn some big lessons about patience, overcoming their fears and appreciating the role that each creature plays in our ecosystem – from dancing ladybugs and beautiful butterflies to grouchy beetles that scavenge the garden floor. Will being small help Sunny grow tall? It’s a fresh, original Sesame Street Live from a whole new point of view!

Like television’s Sesame Street, each Sesame Street Live production features timeless lessons for all ages. The universal appeal of each musical Broadway-quality production continues long after preschool. Adults will appreciate the high-tech stagecraft, cleverly written script, and music they’ll recognize and enjoy sharing with children, such as “Ladybug Picnic,” “Inch by Inch” and “I Love Trash.”

Sesame Street Live!
At the Memorial Coliseum
May 8-10, 2009
INSTINCT PARENTING DISCOUNTS
Discounted Rates:
Gold Circle – $28
Floor/100 level lower – $17
100 level upper – $12
To Order Call Frank Rinaldi
(503) 963-3887
Or email frank.rinaldi@rosequarter.com and mention Instinct Parenting Discount!!!

Looking for Peekaru Vests?

Hop on over to http://www.instinctparenting.com/shop.html to find the latest selection of Peekaru products as well as Ergo Baby Carrier products.

Happy Shopping!

More about Cry It Out – From Dr. Sears

From the AskDrSears website:

Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies

Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question:

Chemical and hormonal imbalances in the brain
Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system. 5, 9, 11, 16

Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression. 17

One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies. 14.

Dr. Bruce Perry’s research at Baylor University may explain this finding. He found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times. 6

Dr. Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine has demonstrated that the stress hormone cortisol (which floods the brain during intense crying and other stressful events) actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain. In addition, when the portions of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional control are not stimulated during infancy (as may occur when a baby is repeatedly neglected) these sections of the brain will not develop. The result; a violent, impulsive, emotionally unattached child. He concludes that the sensitivity and responsiveness of a parent stimulates and shapes the nerve connections in key sections of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional well-being. 7, 8

Decreased intellectual, emotional, and social development
Infant developmental specialist Dr. Michael Lewis presented research findings at an American Academy of Pediatrics meeting, concluding that the single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.

Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills. 19

Dr. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged crying (but not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at 5 years of age. They also showed poor fine motor development. (2)

Researchers at Pennsylvania State and Arizona State Universities found that infants with excessive crying during the early months showed more difficulty controlling their emotions and became even fussier when parents tried to consol them at 10 months. 15

Other research has shown that these babies have a more annoying quality to their cry, are more clingy during the day, and take longer to become independent as children 1.

Harmful physiologic changes
Animal and human research has shown when separated from parents, infants and children show unstable temperatures, heart arrhythmias, and decreased REM sleep (the stage of sleep that promotes brain development). 10 12, 13

Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively. (3) and (4)

1. P. Heron, �Non-Reactive Cosleeping and Child Behavior: Getting a Good Night’s Sleep All Night, Every Night, Master’s thesis, Department of Psychology, University of Bristol, 1994.
2. M R Rao, et al; Long Term Cognitive Development in Children with Prolonged Crying, National Institutes of Health, Archives of Disease in Childhood 2004; 89:989-992.
3. J pediatrics 1988 Brazy, J E. Mar 112 (3): 457-61. Duke University
4. Ludington-Hoe SM, Case Western U, Neonatal Network 2002 Mar; 21(2): 29-36
5. Butler, S R, et al. Maternal Behavior as a Regulator of Polyamine Biosynthesis in Brain and Heart of Developing Rat Pups. Science 1978, 199:445-447.
6. Perry, B. (1997), Incubated in Terror: Neurodevelopmental Factors in the Cycle of Violence, Children in a Violent Society, Guilford Press, New York.
7. Schore, A.N. (1996), The Experience-Dependent Maturation of a Regulatory System in the Orbital Prefrontal Cortex and the Origen of Developmental Psychopathology, Development and Psychopathology 8: 59 87.
8. Karr-Morse, R, Wiley, M. Interview With Dr. Allan Schore, Ghosts From the Nursery, 1997, pg 200.
9. Kuhn, C M, et al. Selective Depression of Serum Growth Hormone During Maternal Deprivation in Rat Pups. Science 1978, 201:1035-1036.
10. Hollenbeck, A R, et al. Children with Serious Illness: Behavioral Correlates of Separation and Solution. Child Psychiatry and Human Development 1980, 11:3-11.
11. Coe, C L, et al. Endocrine and Immune Responses to Separation and Maternal Loss in Non-Human Primates. The Psychology of Attachment and Separation, ed. M Reite and T Fields, 1985. Pg. 163-199. New York: Academic Press.
12. Rosenblum and Moltz, The Mother-Infant Interaction as a Regulator of Infant Physiology and Behavior. In Symbiosis in Parent-Offspring Interactions, New York: Plenum, 1983.
13. Hofer, M and H. Shair, Control of Sleep-Wake States in the Infant Rat by Features of the Mother-Infant Relationship. Developmental Psychobiology, 1982, 15:229-243.
14. Wolke, D, et al, Persistent Infant Crying and Hyperactivity Problems in Middle Childhood, Pediatrics, 2002; 109:1054-1060.
15. Stifter and Spinrad, The Effect of Excessive Crying on the Development of Emotion Regulation, Infancy, 2002; 3(2), 133-152.
16. Ahnert L, et al, Transition to Child Care: Associations with Infant-mother Attachment, Infant Negative Emotion, and Cortisol Elevations, Child Development, 2004, May-June; 75(3):649-650.
17. Kaufman J, Charney D. Effects of Early Stress on Brain Structure and Function: Implications for Understanding the Relationship Between Child Maltreatment and Depression, Developmental Psychopathology, 2001 Summer; 13(3):451-471.
18. Teicher MH et al, The Neurobiological Consequences of Early Stress and Childhood Maltreatment, Neuroscience Biobehavior Review 2003, Jan-Mar; 27(1-2):33-44.
19. Leiberman, A. F., & Zeanah, H., Disorders of Attachment in Infancy, Infant Psychiatry 1995, 4:571-587.

www.AskDrSears.com

Just say no to CRY IT OUT (aka CIO)

I am an advocate of getting babies to sleep better, and to fall asleep on their own. However, I am not in support of CRY IT OUT (CIO) Sleep Methods.

A quote I found regarding a Harvard study says

Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently. It changes the nervous system so they’re sensitive to future trauma.” - Dr. Michael Commons, Dept of Psychiatry, Harvard (found here)

One article I found I could relate to is found on PhD In Parenting found here: http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

She wrote:

1. Cry it out can cause harmful changes to babies’ brains

Babies cry. They cry to let us know that they need something. And when we don’t respond to those cries, it causes them undue amounts of stress. Science has shown that stress in infancy can result in enduring negative impacts on the brain. Prolonged cries in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. Excessive crying results in an oversensitive stress system (likened to a faulty burglar alarm in one book) that can lead to a fear of being alone, separation anxiety, panic attacks and addictions. Harvard researchers found that it makes them more susceptible to stress as adults and changes the nervous system so that they are overly sensitive to future trauma….

Please go to her website and continue to read the article and the follow up to that post as well.

For us, naptime was the biggest struggle. I read and appreciated the way that The No Cry Nap Solution, written by world renowned parenting expert, Elizabeth Pantley, helped us get our toddler to nap, and eventually sleep without the harsh CIO trauma. Here is an excerpt from the book:

The Nap-Resister: When Your Child Needs a Nap but Won’t Take One

Daytime naps might last just a few short hours, but they can affect all twenty-four hours of a child’s day. Naps can improve a child’s mood and reduce fussiness, crying, whining, and tantrums. Studies show that children who nap daily get sick less often, grow taller, and are less likely to be obese when they grow up. Naps enhance attention span and brain development. Naps can also help make up for any shortage in nighttime sleep. Even a one hour shortage in overall sleep hours can have a negative effect on a child – compromising alertness and brain function, and increasing fussiness and fatigue.

There are many ideas for helping a child to take a nap, but the best idea in the world may not work for you if the solution doesn’t address the reason that your child won’t nap. There is not just one reason that babies and young children refuse to nap – there are hundreds of different reasons. Before you decide on a solution you need to understand your child’s motivation.

This really hit home with us. Our toddler resists naps like the plague. When she would not nap, it literally made our entire household a war zone. It was especially difficult because in order to nap at all, she must either be in the carseat, nursing in my arms the entire time, or while she was very young, in the swing. It was never as easy as take her in the room, set her down and out she goes. The book addresses all these issues, and for us, the solution as well as the “Big PPO” made nap and sleep time much easier. It doesn’t happen in a day, but it’s worth reading and working though.

Review from Thomas & Friends LIVE! in Portland

We had the pleasure of attending Thomas & Friends LIVE! at the Memorial Colosseum in Portland OR recently.
After having just moved almost a month ago into a house we have been remodeling since September, and a lack of FUN time, this was a perfect break for our family.

Knowing traffic in the afternoons, we left over an hour before the show was set to start so we’d have time to find parking, get inside, get the kids settled and enjoy the show.

Parking: I don’t believe there is such a thing as affordable parking. That only exists in our imagination. Just kidding! We were unable to find street/metered parking, so we settled for a lot nearby, dropping down $15. It was an open lot outside; not too far away from our destination so we took one of the few spots left.

Tickets: Since we got our tickets ahead of time, we had no use for the many ticket scalpers parading the sidewalks near the venue. Not that we’d use them anyway; I am always amused by them though. I got our tickets about 2 weeks prior to the show, collecting decent seats in the second tier just a few rows up form the front and slightly to the side of the stage. The price however is a little uncomfortable for my taste. We’re a middle class family, and understand the importance of treating the children with wholesome, fun and lively entertainment, but $31-45 per ticket is a bit steep! Our family of 4 would cost between $124 to $180 depending on seat choices. Luckily, our seats were in the $31 section. If you do this once a year, that’s not too terrible, but my dear husband made it clear we wouldn’t be doing it again for quite a while at a cost like that.

Food: Just like when you go to the movies, the smells from the concession stand draw you to their counters! Thankfully, we were sure to eat dinner before heading to the show. Otherwise we’d expect to be paying $5 for a hot dog (each), plus more for drinks or other typically unhealthy selections that you’d find at this type of venue. We skipped this part!

Candy and Favors: Again, we passed on these being on a budget, but there was no shortage of light up spinning Thomas wands, tee shirts and fun favors, nor did we have to search for the Cotton Candy man. Every 5 minutes or so before the show you’d hear “Cotton Candy, Licorice Rope” coming from the sides, front and behind. Those people have a hay day, and make decent coin as well!

THE SHOW!: The best part! My girls (”E” who is 3.5 and “G” who is 1.5) as well as my husband and myself were surely entertained. As with the Thomas television show, there is a solid story line and plot that can be followed by all ages. With the familiarity of the characters and songs, but also the near life size trains (and characters) my girls lit up like the Fourth of July! We were surrounded with “oooh’s” and “ahh’s” when the lights went down and the trains came up! I didn’t expect them to be as real looking as they were. The sets were amazing, the movement and choreography were seamless, and the live friends (The circus folks, Sir Topham Hatt, Thomas, Conductors, etc.) were true to character. One of the only disappointments was after intermission (which came about 30 minutes after the start, lasting 15 minutes), the audio on two of the people went down. You could catch about every other word said until they brought up a microphone for them to use. The girls were confused, but forgot shortly after and it would be fair to assume that normally wouldn’t happen. Not too long after intermission ended, “G” fell asleep on my lap. Her bed time is 7:30 pm, so it was just about right on time; the noise and stimulation didn’t get in her way. I was able to lay her on my coat in the seat next to me. She stayed asleep until the end when I picked her up to leave. “E” started getting tired but made it through and of course perked up with the closing theme music that is so familiar. Overall, a very good show!

The announcer mentioned “NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY” many times before the show, so we thought it would be okay to take a few NON FLASH pictures, but the ushers would come up if they saw a camera of any kind and ask you to put it away. Lucky for me, my phone camera didn’t flash, and nobody would guess I was snapping pictures instead of text messaging. I was able to get a few pictures, but was a little annoyed with the NO PHOTOGRAPHY policy. There is a difference between “no flash photography” and “no photography”. They seemed unsure which policy to follow. And for the price per ticket, you’d think they would be a little less strict on this…

Anyway, all in all we had a great time. Being a numbers gal, I broke down the cost for an average night out at Thomas & Friends for a family of 4:

Parking – $15
Tickets – $124
Food – $20
Favors/treats – $20

Grand Total: $179 (using the lower cost tickets and value choices) YIKES!

Entertainment value, seeing your children’s faces light up and the excitement in their eyes: PRICELESS!

I would recommend Thomas & Friends LIVE! to anyone with children ages 2-7. But really, at any age who doesn’t love to see dancing trains?

Enjoy a few photos from the show!